An emergency motion by Alex Jones didn’t stop The Onion from turning over control of the new InfoWars to Tim Heidecker, who made his debut as host and creative director on Friday via a surprise livestream.
“Lot of turmoil the past couple days on our road to total victory. We have just won a major battle, folks. Alex and his gang of liars and scoundrels have been cast out into the street, they have lost InfoWars, InfoWars.com, and their various platforms,” Heidecker said in his pitch perfect Alex Jones impression.
“They have been cast out, ladies and gentlemen, and make no mistake, we will be the new InfoWars. Now we got to go through the machinations of the court, we’ve had some setbacks over past couple days, but that is not stopping us, that is not tempering our resolve. Over the next couple days or weeks, you will see much more coming out of this.”
Mocking Jones’ own celebration of the Texas court decision, Heidecker added, “This is merely a distraction by the courts. We knew this was gonna be coming, we prepared for it, we are continuing the fight. We have never been more resolved to seek restitution and justice for the Sandy Hook families.”
Alex Jones has, of course, been a continual source of (somewhat rueful) comic relief on this page. Admittedly would not have believed 20 years ago that his insane conspiratorial rants would become the mainstream of the Republican Party, but that’s where we are, and perhaps Heidecker’s satire is pungent enough to punch through the MAGA miasma.
Whoever’s been controlling the weather with any goal in mind is doing an incompetent job of it. Nobody’s been getting all of the good weather and nobody’s getting all of the bad weather.